Using our ability to make judgments is a critical part of the human experience. Our days are filled with examples of how this skill comes in handy. However, there are certain types of judgement that do not serve us well over time. These judgments are the kind that limit our growth personally, create unhealthy patterns, or create blocks between us and people or experiences that might beneficial in our lives.
Interestingly, judgments are seemingly directly connected to hidden fears we harbor. They tend to be mirror-like, reflecting shadows we jealously hide from the world. These fears often whisper a message to us that motivates us to succeed or dominate so we can validate our value in the world. Many of these fears find their origins in our cultural drive for achievement. Compulsions result, creating an energy that envelops us with thoughts like “I’m not enough … I’m falling short … I’m doing it wrong”. This often kicks off a cycle that causes us to push harder in an attempt to feel in control again and in turn be able to declare we are okay.
When we reach this state, the equivalent of a war with ourselves, we can enter the “trance of unworthiness”. Once in this frame of mind, there seems to be nothing we can do to make us feel we are enough or to chase away the self-aversion we summon up from the shadows. We feel flawed and deficient. The pain and suffering that comes when one reaches such a place is the “messenger” that beckons us change our ways.
Once in this intense and ego-obliterating place, its time to embrace a path of renewal and transformation. This requires a pause. A pause that allows us to integrate the lessons we are learning, regenerate, and ultimately transcend the sinister haze we have been drowning in. This of course requires that we learn to let go. Though an expression that seems over-used, it truly is the key. Old constructs and patterns must be removed before we can move forward in any meaningful way. Tara Brach, Ph.D., psychologist, states “This is the way out of trance: mindfully recognizing and bringing compassion to the parts of our being we have habitually ignored, pushed away, condemned.”
May we all have compassion with ourselves, recognizing that we are indeed enough, and resolving to let go of those judgments that are holding us back. When we do, the world becomes so much easier to navigate, and we begin to recognize love and awareness is our true nature.
Written by: Urban Shaman
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