What is it to hold space for someone? It essentially means that we are willing to walk alongside another person, in whatever capacity, to be present for the journey they are on without judging them, making them feel inadequate, trying to fix them, or trying to impact the outcome.
When we hold space for another person, we open our hearts, offer unconditional support, and let go of judgement and control. Life has taught me that more often than not we cannot take away someone’s pain, nor rescue them. Simply being a witness to what someone is feeling and being present is one of the greatest gifts we can offer.
Before all of this though there is something very important we must learn to do; we need to learn to hold space for ourselves. Without this, it becomes infinitely more difficult hold space for someone in need. Having practices that help us stay centered, grounded and in touch with our core are vital in order for us to do the same for others. These may not be the same for each of us. For me, it’s a daily walk in nature and meditation. For someone else, it could be something completely different. But whatever it is, it needs to be an action that resembles a sort of pilgrimage to your own soul.
Such activities require us to get real with ourselves. We must learn to look deeply at our own lives with all of our faults and shortcomings, without judgement, but rather with compassion, kindness and love. This can and often does mean we face fears, self-doubt, perfectionism and self-criticism and realize that we truly do have a choice over all of these constructs of our minds. We then need to learn to replace them with the power of being in touch with our souls. It is in that space where we become whole and in turn are able to bless and hold space for others.
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